Every second Wednesday of the month I meet with my gentlemen friends for a special lady treat. Most of my gentleman friends, I grew up with, have been in my life in various seasons and for various reasons. So whether single or married I schedule them across the months for that special Wednesday day out. One of them is incredibly disgusting but intriguing, I like the way he is very open about he's experiences, oh and the faux paus made me laugh but they made some sense.
So according to Bruce (not real name) the following are the sex faux paus.
1: If its a hook up, don't say 'make love to me' they guy will go limp if its just about sex,.......... a nice way for us girls to get away with not having sex especially when its been bad sex
2: Ask him, 'is it in yet?'
3:Being insecure about your body, the brain is dead.... so for him to notice stretch marks, cellulite etc. is all in your mind, get your freak on and imagine that Beyoncé has nothing on you.
4:You smell like a wet nasty rug, I once read somewhere that men love the natural body odour, well my dear, if you cant stand the smell of your own body odour how would expect a man to like it.
5: This one shocked me, most guys like the vajayjay baby smooth, no hair,yeah just that veet and chuck those weeds
6: Lots of guys are very insecure in bed and are threatened by a woman who is adventurous. They want to be the ones who suggest the new adventures. Another laugh for me!
7:Call him someone else's name, I suggest that you do this to a guy who has hurt you incase you ever roll in the sack with him again...... I know, I know im evvviil
8:Dont talk, just moan and not like a demented cat!
9: Compare them to an ex
10:Dont just lay there, do something, move wriggle, twerk etc.
11: Laugh at the weenie, not cool at all
12:Bite the weenie
13: Say you hope to get pregnant right in the middle of the moment
14: Make him feel like he is doing the right thing and if he aint, tell him
15: Stop reading this now because the list is endless and Bruce isn't always right, so go get your man and give him one hell of a night.
ITS BEEN REAL
Miss DI
Wednesday, 20 November 2013
Tuesday, 19 November 2013
A POEM BY THE PRINCE
I fell in love with the prince, he is called the royal angel and he is indeed the royal angel. He opens he's heart to the world with so much love. I had to share this poem by the prince....... who has stolen my heart.
Lucky me,
I can see the people who envy you dies,
Lucky me,
Your fooling and your seriousness is killing me,
It is killing and anything from you I like it,
God, how lucky you are, no one is like you,
Even my eyes misses seeing you all the time and stays up all night,
My tears keeps falling down for love,
“ Why are you falling down my tears when you are very high?” I said.
“Allah made me so I can fall to your cheeks, and your eyes belong with your beloved”.
Nothing can beat your beauty,
I like you,
I treasure you,
I respect you,
I compose you with longing and sing,
I leave anything in this life but not you,
And with you I built my ambitions and my hopes,
The longing cold, warms in the embrace of your hands,
And the heat of missing you, cools down when I imagine it,
I put my head in your lap,
And keep you away from the people,
because you are my love and mine only,
My heart is deeply in love with you,
And your picture is always on my mind,
And if you blinked with your long lashes,
I can see the people who envy you dies,
My heart says “ Lucky you.”
And I answered “ Lucky me.”
Thank you, Mwah
TAN CHOCOLATE DELIGHT EXPERIENCE
Minding my own business, I got into the elevator, pressed the button indicating the 3rd floor and checked myself out in the shinning mirror doors.
The elevator stopped on the 2nd Floor, I froze right at the center, my feet refused to move, my eyes dried up as I looked into those grey brown eyes, watched as he's mouth curled into a smile...mine mimicking the smile and I felt a drool almost come out at the side of my mouth.
'Can I come in?' he said with a strong Arabic accent.
'mmmhmmmm!!!' is all I could utter as I slid to the slide of the elevator.
'your also going 2nd?'
'yeah...yes. the Berlum.' I whispered unintentionally.
Seemed like the longest ride.....till when the elevator suddenly opened . The air transformed to a rich aroma of sweet spices, herbs and beautiful Arabic music playing in the background.
'have pleasant dinning,ma salaama ' he said
'thanks' I whispered again, I don't know why I kept whispering...... I walked to the corner seat, sunk into the deep comfy seat, enjoyed the exotic ambience and opened the menu, scanning through the wine section.
After an hour I was still seated by myself, my date had texted to let me know that she was running late. I sighed and ordered for more Khubz (bread) and butter. I nearly stuffed my stomach with the tasty Khubz, as I stuffed some more into my mouth I heard that sexy drool say 'al salaam a' Laykum'
I turned around and found those beautiful eyes looking into mine, I nearly choked......and remembered to chew, swallow deep breathes, thought of what to say, finally managed. 'Hello, thank you!'..... why the hell was I saying thank you???????????
He asked whether he could join me since he noticed I was dinning alone and he was also alone and wanted to talk to someone. The waiter was already carrying he's drink on a tray, placed it on the table and walked away. He asked why I was alone, I explained my dilemma and he told me that he had just gotten into the country, came to Berlum for dinner and fortunately for him, he found me...... all I could think about is 'he found me'. I started saying a million thank yous to God and I asked if I could miraculously understand the accent....... as I drifted back from my prayer...... we had a wonderful conversation, a song played, he translated, he also translated the food on the menu with so much passion, we had some Maqluba, he convinced me to take some tea, Maghrebi mint tea. From where we were seated the sky filled up with a full moon, once in a while hiding behind dark clouds. He was a wonderful speaker, the accent made it more exciting as he described Dubai and I described the Maasai Mara since he was on transit to the Mara. I thought to myself, this is what dreams where made of as he laughed at my silly jokes, smiled and placed his palm on top of my hand, I felt as though I was in an electric chair, the sparks spreading to places I didn't imagine would come to life.
My girlfriend called me, told me she couldn't make it. Imagine my response........... we later went to another club next door that played a mix of Arabic music and English music. Most of the music played was slow, sensual and he let me lay on he's chest as our feet moved in sync. I couldn't remember the last time I had slow danced but dancing at that moment was just perfect. This dream was just too perfect......... the night had to end.
I leaned on the car door, told him what a wonderful night I had , I fidgeted with my keys , turned around to enter my car. He gently put his arm around my shoulder, whispered in my ears 'hawa ghamar' I had no clue what that meant but it sounded so sexy.... I turned around, looked into those beautiful eyes one last time, kissed his cheek and entered the car.
I got home, called him... off course I took he's number! we had another long conversation as we both lay in separate beds in different locations but it seemed as if we were right by each others sides.
I began drifting off to sleep, the last I heard him say was 'ma salaama walah hub'. In the next two days, those were the words I drifted off to sleep too.
On Saturday morning he stood at my door, helped me load my bags to the taxi, we were on our way to Maasai Mara. He wanted me to show him the beautiful wildebeest migration i had described so passionately and he would show me Dubai in return.
Miss Di
The elevator stopped on the 2nd Floor, I froze right at the center, my feet refused to move, my eyes dried up as I looked into those grey brown eyes, watched as he's mouth curled into a smile...mine mimicking the smile and I felt a drool almost come out at the side of my mouth.
'Can I come in?' he said with a strong Arabic accent.
'mmmhmmmm!!!' is all I could utter as I slid to the slide of the elevator.
'your also going 2nd?'
'yeah...yes. the Berlum.' I whispered unintentionally.
Seemed like the longest ride.....till when the elevator suddenly opened . The air transformed to a rich aroma of sweet spices, herbs and beautiful Arabic music playing in the background.
'have pleasant dinning,ma salaama ' he said
'thanks' I whispered again, I don't know why I kept whispering...... I walked to the corner seat, sunk into the deep comfy seat, enjoyed the exotic ambience and opened the menu, scanning through the wine section.
After an hour I was still seated by myself, my date had texted to let me know that she was running late. I sighed and ordered for more Khubz (bread) and butter. I nearly stuffed my stomach with the tasty Khubz, as I stuffed some more into my mouth I heard that sexy drool say 'al salaam a' Laykum'
I turned around and found those beautiful eyes looking into mine, I nearly choked......and remembered to chew, swallow deep breathes, thought of what to say, finally managed. 'Hello, thank you!'..... why the hell was I saying thank you???????????
He asked whether he could join me since he noticed I was dinning alone and he was also alone and wanted to talk to someone. The waiter was already carrying he's drink on a tray, placed it on the table and walked away. He asked why I was alone, I explained my dilemma and he told me that he had just gotten into the country, came to Berlum for dinner and fortunately for him, he found me...... all I could think about is 'he found me'. I started saying a million thank yous to God and I asked if I could miraculously understand the accent....... as I drifted back from my prayer...... we had a wonderful conversation, a song played, he translated, he also translated the food on the menu with so much passion, we had some Maqluba, he convinced me to take some tea, Maghrebi mint tea. From where we were seated the sky filled up with a full moon, once in a while hiding behind dark clouds. He was a wonderful speaker, the accent made it more exciting as he described Dubai and I described the Maasai Mara since he was on transit to the Mara. I thought to myself, this is what dreams where made of as he laughed at my silly jokes, smiled and placed his palm on top of my hand, I felt as though I was in an electric chair, the sparks spreading to places I didn't imagine would come to life.
My girlfriend called me, told me she couldn't make it. Imagine my response........... we later went to another club next door that played a mix of Arabic music and English music. Most of the music played was slow, sensual and he let me lay on he's chest as our feet moved in sync. I couldn't remember the last time I had slow danced but dancing at that moment was just perfect. This dream was just too perfect......... the night had to end.
I leaned on the car door, told him what a wonderful night I had , I fidgeted with my keys , turned around to enter my car. He gently put his arm around my shoulder, whispered in my ears 'hawa ghamar' I had no clue what that meant but it sounded so sexy.... I turned around, looked into those beautiful eyes one last time, kissed his cheek and entered the car.
I got home, called him... off course I took he's number! we had another long conversation as we both lay in separate beds in different locations but it seemed as if we were right by each others sides.
I began drifting off to sleep, the last I heard him say was 'ma salaama walah hub'. In the next two days, those were the words I drifted off to sleep too.
On Saturday morning he stood at my door, helped me load my bags to the taxi, we were on our way to Maasai Mara. He wanted me to show him the beautiful wildebeest migration i had described so passionately and he would show me Dubai in return.
Miss Di
Wednesday, 13 November 2013
HOW TO HAVE AN AFFAIR
What drives a confident, smart and good looking single woman to seek married men in order to have a relationship? If you have the answer well let me know.
Isat with my girls a couple of nights ago and I chuckled at the dilemma one of my friends was going through. Should she date that married man who was pestering her? she looked shocked when I said to go ahead but be clear of the consequences. I wont lie about not having not dated a married man! I have and Im glad that I have the wisdom to guide a confused friend. Psychological or not, the affair happens for a reason:
He's bored and needs someone to play with, lets face it young girl, everybody wants to have some excitement in their lives. a married man is like a forbidden fruit, so it gives one the thrill to break into society's rules and constraints about morality. The nasty things he tells you to do for him, the nasty places he takes you for a quickie, the things he has you doing.... believe me sweetheart, he wouldn't dare ask he's wife to do, your just that girl that does the nasty for him, test driving the painful stuff he cant do with he's wife and those nasty word he has you saying.... without getting paid even a whore wouldn't do some things. Speaking of never being paid, Are you a pro bono whore? If you are going to have an affair with a married man, he better be paying you for the moments, your sneaking and creeping because you are not an unemployed whore. I pity especially those women who have their carriers going on, have their own house, car and have their way, then you meet this man who adopts your house to come and have an hour or two with you before he rushes to he's family and doesn't even bother to bring milk or juice to your house. Girl! he better be paying for a mortgage for your home, shopping sprees to Milan and those two hour holidays to the coast and back! Shoot, he is doing all that for he's wife and nothing for you. You are getting played!
Women are always looking for that guy who is like Daddy, more women believe that a married man has more experience and is financially stable than single guys. Some women equate that experience to give emotional support. If your dad is still alive.... darling develop a relationship with him and stop chasing some older man for emotional support, that vulnerability will destroy you, if you go poking in the wrong older wrinkles.
Naiveté and control is something a cheating married man knows how to play, before he started pursuing you, were the first girl he has tried to reach out too in he's many quests while married ....ehh yes? Darling pick a number and join the queue. Once you fall for the bait, become boring, or nag like he's wife then he is on to Lucy, Karen and Maria. yes he had options and you didn't because he was jealous, constantly checking on you and made sure no man came close to he's little play thing!
Miss Di.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)