NAIROBIAN MODERN DATING FUSION

Before you go throwing Shade on me,trade carefully because im not generalizing all Kenyan men and placing them in one basket. I have done my extensive soul searching research and with that I can write objectively about how it is to date a modern African man and specifically the 'Nairobian or Kenyan.

Going on a date with a Nairobian man can sometimes be depressing. The ideal date especially for Kenyan men is taking a lady for Nyama choma at a local pub. How boring! and worse still is when the music is so loud and there is a football match going on. Thank God for apps on our phones that entertain us through the entire carnivorous, chest thumping, beer (soda) sipping(sipping) men squealing like women when a team scores.

I mentioned to a guy that I would like to go to our local park for a picnic, discover the sites in Nairobi, we didn't even have to go out of town, there are so many sites that would amaze him if he was willing to just go out and explore the town. He was shocked that I wanted to do things out of the norm. I even proposed that he could make a meal at home and we could have a decent conversation but it was as if I had suggested or mentioned something so taboo. Me! go to the kitchen! was the response I got.

Sweetie, are you waiting by the car door for him to open it for you, You are hilarious girl, (open your own damn door! that's for the movies) When you expect the door to be opened for a you or letting a lady enter a lift first, that is just not something we are cultured to do. I don't even have to tell you about my experience, just go to a busy mall and see how many 'gentlemen' will stand and let a lady go through first. I was giggling with a girl friend about this..... ladies are now picking the men up for dates in our cars and dropping them home after dates....... but lets leave that to rest for now and move on.

Our men never give promises of the moon and the stars because making a commitment is something of the past. They are just afraid of being responsible, the number of women complaining about men who don't take up responsibilities is very worrying. You don't expect to lay with women and not have baby issues? check out dead beat Kenyans. Moving along.

Don't get me started with the dress code, you expect an all natural woman, no weave, Vaseline for makeup and long sunny dresses and yet when Anaconda or Booty comes out, who is the first person to forward it to the boys or groups. I'm confused whether to get an ass job or boob implants, hmm perhaps Vera had some insight on it, nahhh im kidding, [poor thing]. Let me not even begin with bedroom affairs, some men have perfected the art of written and spoken fantasies of what they can do, when it comes to do, you are left wandering in the dark, what the hell happened or was that it?

Flowers and chocolates are a thing of the past, with apps that can send you virtual flowers and sweet messages, darling don't hold your breathe for those. Maybe a bunch of spinach/sukumawiki or traditional veggies is what you might get when you are making a meal at least its a plant.

I have to appreciate the Nairobian men when it comes to dressing, their rides and homes. I haven't met an untidy man. They are on their A game when it comes to grooming and they smell delicious. Infact, I was once embarrassed by a man who had a better pedicure than I did,i noticed that men go to the palour more than us ladies for facials, waxing, Pedi's and mani's  but that stops there for now.

Finally, return the key holder ladies. Some of our guys will propose, you get the ring and three babies down your still dating or in a relationship? Hmmmm, that is an open relationship and you are the convince, wake up and smell the coffee.

Worst thing is that we cant live without them! Gotta love the Nairobian Alpha man.

Keeping it 100%

Miss Di

MENDING A HEART BROKEN MAN

He slowly sat opposite me in the restaurant and I continued reading my magazine. I tried not to notice him but I knew he was watching me. After twenty minutes I decided to pay my bill, he stretched out and took the bill and asked if he could pay. I looked at him for the first time and noticed how handsome he was but his eyes had pain written in all over.

 

He told me that he didn't believe in love, love is meant to make man suffer. He told me a heart-breaking story of how the previous relations made him a stronger man and no matter what route your heart takes you, expect to find disappointment. Don't go looking for the truth if you don't want to get hurt. Stay still and trust the person you love and you don't ever get hurt.

 

I wanted to hold him, hug him and tell him that everything would be fine and some day he would find someone who loved him and his heart  would be safe in their hands but that would be lying to him because as human beings we have curious minds. When we are in relationships, we tend to always investigate the other person. Considering that he has been hurt so many times, I don't think he is capable of mending because he has been broken too many times.

 

I wander whether the women reading this would accept to be in a relationship with a man who has been broken so many times?. I have a feeling that if you would pursue a relationship with a broken man, you would have to deal with a lot of insecurities and constantly explaining yourself.

 

I wish I had a clamp that would fix broken hearts because that man could use some mending.



Keeping it 100%

 

Miss Di

 

YOUR SCENT IS DRVING ME INSANE

Have you ever had this persons scent that drives you insane? when you are walking in the street and that scent just hits you and you start searching around to see if that person was there?

We all have that one scent that brings a tingly feeling inside especially when we associate it to someone dear to us. Mine would be the scent of my ex on the pillows or a t-shirt he borrowed for the night but my ultimate favourite, the smell of a man straight from the shower.

On a serious note, you should do a test and ask your special someone whether they remember what you smelt like and only after you have asked him or her what scents they absolutely love and if you aren't on the list of favourite scents, darling you better figure out what scent will linger on their minds.

Women, our natural scent is our special DNA but you can enhance it with some vanilla, lavender, cinnamon. Now Pheromone perfume is something im testing, it is a crazy one, collect your own sweat, (not from your armpits, the beads of sweat on your face) just a few ounces and mix with your favourite perfume,  Pheromone Perfume!!! It is basically a chemical that secretes in sweat and releases neurotransmitters. These neurotransmitters directly affect the behaviour of a person i.e. opposite sex. The pheromone perfume leaves subtle impact on human beings and is truly a powerful scent men love.

I tried it today and went to a restaurant, sat by myself in the middle of the restaurant  and ordered a meal, three male waiters came to attend to me, including the restaurant manager, I got a drink on the house and when I paid for my meal, I got a complimentary voucher for another meal. im not sure whether it was the perfume but I confirmed it when one of my colleagues stopped the lift and kept asking me silly questions about what I was doing in the evening and whether I needed any help with anything. HOWEVER, whether it was my perfume or my lovely lady charms, my scent didn't work on all men.

Try it and tell me what happens! I would like a man to try it and send me back feedback.

Keeping it 100%

Miss Di

LUNCH ON MY MIND, SEX ON HIS?

I bumped into an acquaintance in the supermarket one late night, he invited me over for lunch at his place, I was pleasantly surprised that a fine man wanted to cook a meal for me? he even asked what I wanted for lunch and I chose my lunch right there at the supermarket.

You can imagine the excitement, I got to his place and found the a lovely 3 course meal prepared, he plated each course and the presentation was beyond description. I was really blown away by the light witty conversation, we finished off with a delicious bottle of dessert wine. I was absolutely impressed.

Seated at the living room, we started watching stand up comedy and he moved in closer and I enjoyed the warmth of his arms around me. It started getting uncomfortable when kisses were being planted on my cheeks, I knew that it was my cue to exit. When I asked to leave he started acting childish and I don't really have to get into it.

My question is, just because a man has made you lunch, bought you a drink or taken you out, does that translate into sex as pay back? No matter what race you come from, I find that many women complain about this, do we have to return the favour?

Men, cant we spend a little time with you and not expect to be your icing on the cake or trophy after?

Keeping it 100%

Miss Di

THAT WHITE AND CHOCOLATE COMBINATION

At a young age love does not know race, you fall in love with anyone without asking about their religion or race but when you get older, society makes you differentiate what is accepted and what is not. I could help when a friend of mine came with a dilemma where her Hindu sister was dating a Christian boy, Black and white just don't mix in her world, her mother was in tears and her dad didn't want to see her face. How silly I thought and so I decided to experiment myself and see how society would judge me and my white chocolate mix.

I meet someone on line. Lets call him George, He has lived in Nairobi all his life and he actually speaks abit of the native language. On our first date we decided to go to a high end restaurant, we had a table for two with candle lit dinner, soft music in the background and we had a good time laughing and getting to know each other. The waiters were wonderful, extra attention was given to us and everybody around us minded their own business.

The second date we went to an equally high end restaurant in another area on a Sunday. The services was equally good but the people around us kept staring at us, the women especially with kids. I went to the washroom to freshen up my make up and I was in shock when a younger lady asked where I met the nice gentleman I was with because he must have been a good client. I laughed and lied that he was my boyfriend, you should have seen how her eyes pooped. She told me to marry the man asap because I would be financially free. I went back to my date and held his hands, thanked him for a wonderful date and as the bill came, the waiter put it where my gentleman friend fore side. I grabbed the bill and gave the waiter my card, he looked at me weirdly and walked away too run my card.

Our third date was at a local movie theatre, we went early and got front middle seats, went to a nearby bar which was fully packed, I got a tool at the counter and he stood, for some reason, I got some attention for being with him but men kept bumping into him despite the little space. I decided to pull him really close and held onto him, I could see the looks we got, I was relieved when we had to leave for the movie. One large popcorn bucket, slosh in one hand we walked in just as the movie began, a romantic movie. He put his arm around me and we enjoyed the movie for the next 20 mins in peace. The person behind me kept bumping his shoe into my seat, three times and I slowly turned to see what was going on, in the darkness our eyes met and I gave him a nasty look, I turned back to my movie, snuggled back under his arm and he kissed my forehead loudly, oh the mouth smacks I heard around us was very irritating, we managed to go through the entire movie, with the constant bumps from the guy behind me. We walked into the streets, hand in hand, I hear a few insults here and there which really offended me.

My question is, cant we live in a world that is tribe less, colourless, religion less a world where all humans beings are all the same.

Besides, if you turned off the lights in a room, we are all the same colour!

Keeping it 100%

Miss Di

 

EX FACTOR RELATIONSHIPS

Its a dilemma when your ex asks you back. Most people tend to keep going back to their exes for some crazy reason, I would definitely give myself some time back with my ex because I need to know that my emotions have long moved on and I wasn't the person I was when we were dating.

I learnt that some relationships cant go back to the magic when it goes away. It may be the absolute bad reason to try getting back because most of the time we miss the familiarity. You may find yourself in need of a temporary fix for your mutual loneliness but believe me, the trust, loyalty and love you once had left an empty hole too deafening to fill in.

When you take someone back, the person is most likely to take advantage of you since you are more venerable emotional and sometimes financially. Forgiveness is a wonderful virtue but if you expect the other person to behave when you get back, you will be disappointed gravely.  

When you break up with someone, its the best time to do some soul searching, sometimes its worth it to take risks on someone new rather than going back to the same drama over and over again

Im writing this as am looking at an ex and its really ridiculous because I am im reflecting on all the reasons why we broke up and I have only one memory of happy moments..... when I used to wake up and watch him sleep. I knew where he was, he was angelic with eyes closed and mouth shut but the only bummer was that I didn't know what he was dreaming about.

Story is, don't bother going back, unless you want to see what progress you've made otherwise its not worth your time.

Keeping it 100%

Miss Di

IF ONLY MEN KNEW

I have a special guy in my life now and im wondering if he is a keeper, I have been reading a lot on relationships and I hope this one works and I wish he knew some things.
Some ladies asked what they would wish their men knew responded in the following ways. Im hoping men will get a few pointers from here

• There's nothing like being in the presence of the man you love and feeling like there isn't another woman on the planet who's sexier than you are.

While sleeping, he rolls over and reaches for me as if knowing, even in his sleep, something is missing...his other half


When he smiles like a little boy on Christmas morning when he sees me.

When he just looks at me and smiles for no reason

When he whispers in my ear, ‘You are so beautiful


When he attends a work event with me and watches with intrigue as I work in a leadership capacity. The icing on the cake is when he applauds my work on the ride home, and when we ‘settle in’ in for the night!


When he gently takes my chin and brings me in closer to kiss him
When he places his hand on the small of my back

When he stares at me like he knows what he has


When we are together in a crowed room and I'm his main focus

When I look at him and he is already looking at me, and smiling


He can't stop kissing and touching me

When I'm just laying in his arms having small talk, feeling the movement of his body and silently listening to his heartbeat as he speaks


When he respects my celibacy


When I can completely be my quirky, cerebral and expressive self!


I have all of his attention and we are looking into each other eyes with no words

When he tells me he intends to spend the rest of his life with me



When he in encourages me to go for my goals in life

Keeping it 100%

Miss Di

BLOW HIS MIND

We get so caught up with our lives that sometimes we forget our partners and the need to feel loved. I have been experimenting with these pointers I read from a magazine and I think they are ready to be put to the test.

Spend the Entire Day In Bed

Spend one Sunday in bed. Turn off your cell phone and unplug the clock, it’s time to hunker down with your dream guy. Skip your to-do list for the day and make a new one where everything on it can be done in bed. It’s fun, it’s free and sure beats working all day, doesn’t it?

Take a Bubble Bath Together

A little fizz, steam and a hot bath can go a long way for your sex drive. Skip the showers in favour of a romantic evening in the tub together for some sensual foreplay before bed.

Assign Him Love Homework

Ready to instantly spice things up? Call or text him and give him a little “love homework” to bring home. Ask him to make a list of the 10 places on your body he’d like to kiss you, or his five favorite spots to have sex. The anticipation will build as he completes his assignment and he will be eager to turn it in and practice what he’s learned.

Put Your Pleasure In His Hands

These days there is no shortage of pleasure products on the shelves at your local store. Although the selection can be vast, most of them look like more fun for you than him—until now. Introducing the Bullet . The sleek, waterproof, wireless bullet has ten powerful speeds and slips discretely into your panties. On the way out, give him the wireless remote control, which works up to 25 feet away, and let the games begin.


Be His Secret Admirer

You can still remember the smell of those beautiful roses he sent you on your birthday, but when was the last time you showered him with public displays of affection? Surprise him for lunch looking unbelievably hot in that dress he loves, or have a note telling him to “Come home, now!” delivered to his office by a messenger.

Serve Yourself For Dessert

After you’ve both enjoyed a delicious meal, it’s time for a one-of-a-kind dessert in bed. Hand him a jar of edible chocolate body paint and a brush, and light a candle—it’s on!

Lets keep it real,

Miss Di

 

BAGGING THAT GUY

Hold the press, I don't mean tea bagging a guy! gross!

Oh wait you have no idea what im talking about? Phew! good, that is a whole new conversation for some other day.

So, during the long holidays I have been observing some of the people around me date. Since im still single(Crossing my fingers blue) I have decided to go on a hunt and Bag that guy. After watching Baggage claim and identifying with it I decided to put some things to the test. I will try the following in my next bag a guy search.

1: OPEN MY MIND TO NEW ADVENTURES

 

Each date I will go too, I will have an open mind, I realised that my ideal partner is based on my personal checklist. We are all looking for the perfect partner but honey! he don't exist!

 

2: NO RESEARCH BEFORE THE FIRST DATE

 

No goggling or face booking my date to be, those are just false impressions of the person, im doing it the old fashion way, I will make my judgement when i meet the person.

3: NO BAGGAGE
The past will be left there, I will not speak of old relationships, negative experiences or my insane encounters. I am a saint and expect a saint. There is so little to get out of dwelling on the past.

4: HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY
  Starting a relationship based on lies is never a grand idea, if he doesn't live up to your expectations just tell the guy instead of wasting time.

5: LEAVE ON A HIGH NOTE
Dates will be short and sweet, coffee or lunch! No dinners or alcohol, im tired of looking for my undies after a couple of drinks, not cool for a classy woman, did I stammer.

Just keeping it real and being real

Miss Di

NEW BEGININGS, GOOD BYE F****G 2013

I have been hiding in 2013, trying to figure out what the coyotes I want to do in 2014. Its been nearly one month and I have been dancing with the devils of 2013, that was one jinxed and f***ed up year.

Finally I have what I want to do, figured out in 2014, im sure you are dying to know what my personal agreements are with my demons this year because you haven't written yours, Its alright! I know you haven't put it on paper, lazy ass!

Alright, Thunderbolt, I mean.... Drum roll!!!!!!!


1: STOP FANTASIZING
I shall not look at things I want and not get them, I love cars, sports cars especially and I intend to get one sweet ride, im kinda tired of my old junk, its time I let her go.

I shall not stare at ridiculously handsome guys and do nothing about it..... Nooo this girl has grown balls and horns, I see something looking hot, im charging like bull on Viagra and coke!

No broke ass guys, im too grown for that, I had hustled too long to settle for less. Im positioning myself for the grand fabulous life and grand don't come cheap!


2: PROPER DATING

No freaking casual sex, that's so 2013, who does that? when I feel I’ve connected with someone that gets my nether regions all juicy my bullshit tolerance level goes through the roof! This year, I want to be better at putting my foot down and not accepting half ass texts and dick pics as proper dating courtship. Proper dinners, dating activities that don't entail house activities, movies in the house is history, dinner in the house all dead and buried, that is a very cheap date which only qualifies on the 25th date, clubbing isn't a date, the only clubbing im doing is between myself and a golf ball after a trip down to exclusive golf courses in a jet!

 3: WORK ON MY TEMPER

I always lose out on a lot of fun stuff because of my temper, when you are working with a perfectionist, our temper is like a delicate little thread waiting to snap. I will keep my temper under wraps but don't just tempt me..... I will get into a fight.

4: LEARN THE KAMASUTRA

Yes, I want to learn from the holy grail of sex, im getting into a meaningful relationship and normal sex has become boring, imagine 100 positions to experiment with, ahh the magic mountain, Glowing Juniper, crouching tiger and the peg. Hmmmmh, you wanna goggle, I dare you, infact lets learn together and exchange notes

5: GYM TIME

Nope, im not going to do crazy diets or starve, im going to eat healthy and hit the gym. Not to lose weight! to get my tummy flat and tighten my arms. Not putting high expectations since I have learnt to accept my curves.

6: CONCENTRATE ON THE ARTISTIC ME

I spent to much time on irrelevant stuff last year, im choosing the artist in me this year, Record my music, talent management and events is all im doing. I need to start making that money and mad money.

7: CHILDREN

Shhh i hear tiny feet.......................................... that's all im saying!

8: GET A LIFE...... I MEAN YOU......

I need to stop being so personal and gross on this blog.Yeah right! then where shall you get all the nasty juicy details of stuff folks don't wanna talk about! lets be real! keep it real..... hmm I like that, maybe I should always sign out like that.



Miss Di, lets be real, keep it real.