SIGNS A MAN IS GREAT IN BED

Dedicated to Michael for the weekend and teaching me a few things along the way and so im sharing this with Michael on mind, Had to share this.


HE CAN DANCE
 By dancing, I don’t mean country, salsa, ballroom, or even the tango; I mean he can hold you close to him and sway his hips just enough so that you feel like you’re having sex on the dance floor.
If a man can hold you close to him and maintain rhythm with his hips, he will know how to twirl them when you’re lying under him as well. And if that weren’t great enough, he understands the importance of tempo when it matters most.

HIS KISSES ARE SLOW
When he opens his mouth to kiss you, his kiss is almost lazy.  He sucks one lip at a time and he even smiles slightly when your tongues meet. This is a man who never rushes through an orgasm but enhances it by delaying it and awaiting a profound explosion.

  HE DEVOURS HIS FOOD
When he eats his dinner, every morsel he cuts and place in his mouth is appreciated and devoured as though it may be his last.
If that weren’t enough of a turn on, if you’re out and he enjoys the taste of something immensely, he will insist on feeding you some so that you can share in his dining pleasure.

HE MAKES YOU FEEL SEXY
He doesn’t need to tell you that he thinks you’re hot, nor does he even have to touch you, the way he treats you makes you feel like you’re the sexiest woman on Earth.
The way he looks at you makes you feel like a sex kitten, the way he talks to you makes you feel like a princess and the way he lets you know what he’s thinking makes you want to rip off his clothes and ravage him.

 HE PUTS HIS HANDS IN UNIQUE PLACES
The breast and the butt are the obvious places most guys want to touch you, but this guy… this guy massages the back of your neck for no reason. He wraps his hands around your ribs and pulls you closer.
When you kiss, he puts his hands behind your head and lightly pulls your hair back by the roots. This is a man who knows that there are many ways to bring a woman to orgasm and is prepared to explore them all.

HE DOESN’T TALK ABOUT SEX
As most of us know by now, men who boast about their sexual trysts are usually the ones who think that sex that lasts as long as a commercial break is incredibly satisfying. This man never makes mention of sex; he lets his body language, his touch and his actions reveal that he is the stuff dreams are made of.

 HE KNOWS HOW TO SEDUCE YOUR BRAIN
Many women feel that if a man does not know how to have sex with her brain, there is no way he’s going to have sex with her body. This guy knows how to seduce your imagination and leave you with his lingering presence well after he’s left you for the evening.
He speaks like a gentleman and makes you want to do things in bed that you’ve never imagined yourself doing. He brings out a different side of you; an animalistic side.






MISS DI

LES SEXE FAUX PAUS

Every second Wednesday of the month I meet with my gentlemen friends for a special lady treat. Most of my gentleman friends, I grew up with, have been in my life in various seasons and for various reasons. So whether single or married I schedule them across the months for that special Wednesday day out. One of them is incredibly disgusting but intriguing, I  like the way he is very open about he's experiences, oh and the faux paus made me laugh but they made some sense.
So according to Bruce (not real name) the following are the sex faux paus.
 
1: If its a hook up, don't say 'make love to me' they guy will go limp if its just about sex,.......... a nice way for us girls to get away with not having sex especially when its been bad sex
2: Ask him, 'is it in yet?'
3:Being insecure about your body, the brain is dead.... so for him to notice stretch marks, cellulite etc. is all in your mind, get your freak on and imagine that Beyoncé has nothing on you.
4:You smell like a wet nasty rug, I once read somewhere that men love the natural body odour, well my dear, if you cant stand the smell of your own body odour how would expect a man to like it.
5: This one shocked me, most guys like the vajayjay baby smooth, no hair,yeah just that veet and chuck those weeds
6: Lots of guys are very insecure in bed and are threatened by a woman who is adventurous. They want to be the ones who suggest the new adventures. Another laugh for me!
7:Call him someone else's name, I suggest that you do this to a guy who has hurt you incase you ever roll in the sack with him again...... I know, I know im evvviil
8:Dont talk, just moan and not like a demented cat!
9: Compare them to an ex
10:Dont just lay there, do something, move wriggle, twerk etc.
11: Laugh at the weenie, not cool at all
12:Bite the weenie
13: Say you hope to get pregnant right in the middle of the moment
14: Make him feel like he is doing the right thing and if he aint, tell him
15: Stop reading this now because the list is endless and Bruce isn't always right, so go get your man and give him one hell of a night.

ITS BEEN REAL

Miss DI

A POEM BY THE PRINCE

I fell in love with the prince, he is called the royal angel and he is indeed the royal angel. He opens he's heart to the world with so much love. I had to share this poem by the prince....... who has stolen my heart.

Lucky me,

Your fooling and your seriousness is killing me,

It is killing and anything from you I like it,

God, how lucky you are, no one is like you,

Even my eyes misses seeing you all the time and stays up all night,

My tears keeps falling down for love,

“ Why are you falling down my tears when you are very high?” I said.

“Allah made me so I can fall to your cheeks, and your eyes belong with your beloved”.

Nothing can beat your beauty,

I like you,

I treasure you,

I respect you,

I compose you with longing and sing,

I leave anything in this life but not you,

And with you I built my ambitions and my hopes,

The longing cold, warms in the embrace of your hands,

And the heat of missing you, cools down when I imagine it,

I put my head in your lap,

And keep you away from the people,

because you are my love and mine only,

My heart is deeply in love with you,

And your picture is always on my mind,

And if you blinked with your long lashes,

 
I can see the people who envy you dies,

My heart says “ Lucky you.”

And I answered “ Lucky me.”

Thank you, Mwah

TAN CHOCOLATE DELIGHT EXPERIENCE

Minding my own business, I got into the elevator, pressed the button indicating the 3rd floor and checked myself out in the shinning mirror doors.
The elevator stopped on the 2nd Floor, I froze right at the center, my feet refused to move, my eyes dried up as I looked into those grey brown eyes, watched as he's mouth curled into a smile...mine mimicking the smile and I felt a drool almost come out at the side of my mouth.
'Can I come in?' he said with a strong Arabic accent.
'mmmhmmmm!!!' is all I could utter as I slid to the slide of the elevator.
'your also going 2nd?'
'yeah...yes. the Berlum.' I whispered unintentionally.

Seemed like the longest ride.....till when the elevator suddenly opened . The air transformed to a rich aroma of sweet spices, herbs and beautiful Arabic music playing in the background.
'have pleasant dinning,ma salaama ' he said
'thanks' I whispered again, I don't know why I kept whispering...... I walked to the corner seat, sunk into the deep comfy seat, enjoyed the exotic ambience and opened the menu, scanning through the wine section.

After an hour I was still seated by myself, my date had texted to let me know that she was running late. I sighed and ordered for more Khubz (bread) and butter. I nearly stuffed my stomach with the tasty Khubz, as I stuffed some more into my mouth I heard that sexy drool say 'al salaam a' Laykum'
I turned around and found those beautiful eyes looking into mine, I nearly choked......and remembered to chew, swallow deep breathes, thought of what to say, finally managed. 'Hello, thank you!'..... why the hell was I saying thank you???????????

He asked whether he could join me since he noticed I was dinning alone and he was also alone and wanted to talk to someone. The waiter was already carrying he's drink on a tray, placed it on the table and walked away. He asked why I was alone, I explained my dilemma and he told me that he had just gotten into the country, came to Berlum for dinner and fortunately for him, he found me...... all I could think about is 'he found me'. I started saying a million thank yous to God and I asked if I could miraculously understand the accent....... as I drifted back from my prayer...... we had a wonderful conversation, a song played, he translated, he also translated the food on the menu with so much passion, we had some Maqluba, he convinced me to take some tea, Maghrebi mint tea. From where we were seated the sky filled up with a full moon, once in a while hiding behind dark clouds. He was a wonderful speaker, the accent made it more exciting as he described Dubai and I described the Maasai Mara since he was on transit to the Mara. I thought to myself, this is what dreams where made of as he laughed at my silly jokes, smiled and placed his palm on top of my hand, I felt as though I was in an electric chair, the sparks spreading to places I didn't imagine would come to life.

My girlfriend called me, told me she couldn't make it. Imagine my response........... we later went to another club next door that played a mix of Arabic music and English music. Most of the music played was slow, sensual and he let me lay on he's chest as our feet moved in sync. I couldn't remember the last time I had slow danced but dancing at that moment was just perfect. This dream was just too perfect......... the night had to end.

I leaned on the car door, told him what a wonderful night I had , I fidgeted with my keys , turned around to enter my car. He gently put his arm around my shoulder, whispered in my ears 'hawa ghamar' I had no clue what that meant but it sounded so sexy.... I turned around, looked into those beautiful eyes one last time, kissed his cheek and entered the car.

I got home, called him... off course I took he's number! we had another long conversation as we both lay in separate beds in different locations but it seemed as if we were right by each others sides.

I began drifting off to sleep, the last I heard him say was 'ma salaama walah hub'. In the next two days, those were the words I drifted off to sleep too.

On Saturday morning he stood at my door, helped me load my bags to the taxi, we were on our way to Maasai Mara. He wanted me to show him the beautiful wildebeest migration i had described so passionately and he would show me Dubai in return.



Miss Di

HOW TO HAVE AN AFFAIR

What drives a confident, smart and good looking single woman to seek married men in order to have a relationship? If you have the answer well let me know.

Isat with my girls a couple of nights ago and I chuckled at the dilemma one of my friends was going through. Should she date that married man who was pestering her? she looked shocked when I said to go ahead but be clear of the consequences. I wont lie about not having not dated a married man! I have and Im glad that I have the wisdom to guide a confused friend.

Psychological or not, the affair happens for a reason:
 He's bored and needs someone to play with, lets face it young girl, everybody wants to have some excitement in their lives. a married man is like a forbidden fruit, so it gives one the thrill to break into society's rules and constraints about morality. The nasty things he tells you to do for him, the nasty places he takes you for a quickie, the things he has you doing.... believe me sweetheart, he wouldn't dare ask he's wife to do, your just that girl that does the nasty for him, test driving the painful stuff he cant do with he's wife and those nasty word he has you saying.... without getting paid even a whore wouldn't do some things.  Speaking of never being paid, Are you a pro bono whore? If you are going to have an affair with a married man, he better be paying you for the moments, your sneaking and creeping because you are not an unemployed whore. I pity especially those women who have their carriers going on, have their own house, car and have their way, then you meet this man who adopts your house to come and have an hour or two with you before he rushes to he's family and doesn't even bother to bring milk or juice to your house. Girl! he better be paying for a mortgage for your home, shopping sprees to Milan and those two hour holidays to the coast and back!  Shoot, he is doing all that for he's wife and nothing for you. You are getting played!

 

Women are always looking for that guy who is like Daddy, more women believe that a married man has more experience and is financially stable than single guys. Some women equate that experience to give emotional support. If your dad is still alive.... darling develop a relationship with him and stop chasing some older man for emotional support, that vulnerability will destroy you, if you go poking in the wrong older wrinkles.

 

Naiveté and control is something a cheating married man knows how to play, before he started pursuing you, were the first girl he has tried to reach out too in he's many quests while married ....ehh yes? Darling pick a number and join the queue. Once you fall for the bait, become boring, or nag like he's wife then he is on to Lucy, Karen and Maria. yes he had options and you didn't because he was jealous, constantly checking on you and made sure no man came close to he's little play thing!

 

Now here Is what I told my friend, If he really wants to be with you, he loves you, he cant leave with you. Ask him to do this huge favor for you. Leave he's wife, family and come start a new life with you, where you wont spend your nights cold and alone, where you wont have to spend a few hours of sexual satisfaction with him, instead you would have a lifetime of sexual moments,...... when you walk in public, you can hold hands , walk with your  head up high and not be ashamed of what you are doing, you could take him to your mother, introduce your dad to he's son in law but most importantly he can seat in the front pew in church with you and when you close your eyes and pray.... God looks down at you and listens to his prayerful wife!

Miss Di.

THE PROPOSAL

I could see that he was excited and scared at the same time, he gave me the box and I opened it, there lay the most beautiful ring I had ever seen, that moment I felt like crying but I took one deep breath and I said that it was beautiful. He was glad that I approved and I looked at it closer to see the sparkle.....there it was.... glinting back into my eyes.

You have no idea how scared I am he said to me, I asked him why and he says that he wasn't sure whether it was the right time, he didn't know whether he would get a yes or no, he had no idea where he would actually propose.

I looked straight at him and I started throwing at him some interesting ideas. A picnic would be amazing or a dinner just the two or with friends? what if she said no in front of friends, what about at church since she is religious, nahhh too fruity.

I watched him continue to ponder with other ideas, he told me how nerve wrecking it was for him to have decided to make that decision of buying the ring, yes she had been hinting for a long time about it and he decided it was time.

I silently slipped into my own world and wondered, will I ever get that ring? shall a man somewhere have butterflies because he doesn't know how he will propose? Looking back... all I got was calls in the middle of the night with a drunken voice declaring love for me or a threat of how we should do something about our relationship. Huh! Life is indeed strange. Some of us get the actual proposal while some get the ring after being knocked up or some weird circumstance. Does the woman actually push the man into getting that rock?

If I ever get that proposal, he better come riding a white horse, sweep me off to the private jet waiting to take me to Jacob the jeweller in New York....for me to custom make my own ring with different cuts of diamonds, gold, platinum and pearls. He better propose at the Ritz in Paris at the presidential suite with private services of a chef, waiter and a Latino man singing all my favourites in opera style, he can have a billboard outside the hotel written WILL YOU MARRY ME! then with the finale of a flash mob, TOOO MUCH?? 

Go figure why im still waiting

Miss Di

COUGAR INTERNATIONAL CRUISE

So here I am thinking about of places I could go on holiday, with a swimming pool, remember I haven't gone dipping in my birthday suit and I haven't gone out of the country for two weeks according to my bucket list??

Well.... while I was checking out various place to holiday I got a very interesting site.

A TWO WEEK CRUSIE FOR COUGARS! Yup, I was also stunned! in an interesting way.


Here is where I put my disclaimer: I DO NOT FANCY YOUNGER MEN, THEY FANCY ME.

Cougar cruises take place aboard a large, commercial ship alongside thousands of other non-cougar vacationers. The hosts bring cougars and cubs together during meals, daytime excursions and night-time activities, like bar hopping and Jacuzzi parties (hmmm im smiling). According to owners of the cruise, the cubs say they like the older women because they know what they want and they don’t play games. A lot of cubs really don’t like the young women they date -– too much game playing and immaturity (hahahhaha)   It’s not like when guys are pursuing younger women or women their age. The dynamics change a little bit, and these are older women who are probably more secure and more confident, but also maybe more desperate, (hahaha desperate...not me thank you very much)

Well as I get older the boys chasing after me keep getting younger and those young gentlemen are..... uhmmm....I don't have the words to describe them. Now you can shake your head from here.

Yes I have been a cougar and I would never recommend it to any mature girls, Yes, Yeah.... you get all the attention, the nice sweet words and loving but honestly, younger boys bore me. All they want  to do is get high and have sex.... who needs that?..... Taking care of a drunk boy, partying till 3am in the morning from Friday to Friday....note... in a local bar with he's 'boys' ....getting into bar fights for no reason or  because someone touched you or because someone spoke to you.. Too much drama! the dancehall music is great but the grinding, dirty whining..... just play me a nice dancehall tune in a nice restaurant where I can shake my booty and imagine myself whining on the seat!!! thank you very much!!!!.

Ohhhh try breaking up with the cubs, Lawd! Molly! the depression they undergo is too tasking,... while I was in cougarville I learnt the following, if you are going to go out with a cub, he probably didn't have a mother figure around him or he was very tight with he's mother, so the cougar is replacing the mum who they give all the loving, attention, just like mummies but with sex as a bonus. Cubs try to act like grown up men but that is just an act, they haven't matured to the level of a grown ass man ....so if you need someone to upgrade you, well honey cougar, you will be paying all the bills, picking up he's shit and guess what, you are never the only one in his life, you are just a stepping stone to the real younger love of  his miserable lying ass.

If you are a cougar out there, tuck in your sagging tittes into a victory secret bra (not Victoria), pack your three dildos, your one piece costume, wrinkle night cream, sexy heels and sign up for the Cougar International cruise with me. Hey! im still down for the cruise. We can get those cubs to dance to that dancehall, hip hop music they like so much on the cruise and we pay them in 50's, ahh... the trip goes to Jamaica, I cant wait to get off the ship, meet an island grown up man when we land in Jamaica, now that's where the real fun begins, I heard the island dem rich bombaclut, Afta tree nah grow inna mi face? Di fus wata hog pass him wash himself.

I WILL BE BACK WITH STORIES FROM JAMAICA, MY DREDLOCK RASTTAaaa
                                                                 
 MISS COUGAR DI