REBOUND GIRL

I had writer's block for a minute but im back!!!!

So my dear friend broke up with her boyfriend last year and she was clearly heart broken but what transpired next just makes me want to say ' SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!'
Women on the rebound usually want sex with no strings — or so they think. If you play your cards right, you can reap the rewards of a woman hungry for a fresh partner. Play them wrong though, and you could be in for a mess.

Even if it's your first time playing the female "course" in question, armed with some general information on the lay of the psychological land and strategies about when to drive hard and when to lay up, you'll be able to avoid the emotional rough or the "player label" traps, and hit nothing but holes in one.

rebound girl course is open

She either got dumped or left her boyfriend because she's looking to have fun. If she seems bright enough about it, then either way, you win. All you have to do is seem better than him and you'll come up smelling like roses.

If she's on the prowl, then it's really a race to get her attention, as the first guy to make a move can get lucky, without — and this is key — worrying about a long-term relationship.
Remember; this is definitely not just about sex for her. With women, it never is. No, this, she hopes, will also be a nice, long, vigorous ego stroking for her. She's looking for rebound sex because she wants to prove she's desirable.
She wants to be sure that she did the right thing in leaving her guy if that's the way it went down. Or if she got dumped, she wants to believe that he was the one with issues.
All you have to do is press some of her psychological buttons (compliments) and stroke some of her physical ones (I could write a book...), and it's good times all around.

pros of playing

Here are just a few reasons to bounce around with the newly available girl in town:

Easy sex. 'Nuff said.
Wild sex. She's got a lot of pent-up energy and is looking to be reminded what else sex can be like.
She wants freedom (read: no strings). If she was dumped, she wants to feel in control. Hey, being on the bottom ain't so bad. Or maybe she wants a guy to take more control than the last guy did.
But wait, there are cons to the game...

2017 here we go

Hey, its been a minute and your girl is back.

Rehab was hard, kicking the habit was even tougher.....Ha! i had to feed into the gossip. I had the streets were talking and i was listening.

I had run out of juice but my mojo is back. In 2014 I had a bucket list and i still continue to follow suit. This year its even more ridiculous and more risky. I want to try out stuff and feel things i haven’t felt before

Well im sure you are wondering what i want to different.

1: I feel as though my vagina needs rejuvenating, i need to get my snatch, snatched, yup.... im not talking about surgery, i have been told about this spa that they place tiny  fish in your snatch, they nibble your privates and their tiny scales are grounded, made into a gel which helps tighten the muscles in a couple of days. Pretty nifty.


2: Razor clamming is top on the agenda, i love water, large masses especially and i love clam, discovering the various shapes, sizes and shapes of clam is so fulfilling, i would actually create a wall for the varies shells when i was done with the deliciousness.

3: Kiss a stranger, not tongue kissing but just placing my lips on their lips, i find lips very fascinating so yes.... lip locks...... hmm I also wonder about the breath but lets just focus on lips for now

4: Attend a some sex wedding, yes i support same sex marriages and so if you are out there and tying the note this year, kindly send an invite, i promise to bring a gift of your choice

5:Send flowers to myself after each two months, why...... hell for the heck of it since i don’t get flowers regularly, i may as well send myself some just because

6: Write a wedding song or two, that was actually the voices in my head that kept whispering to me for a long time and im not ignoring them

7: Change my eye colour, get temporary contacts, maybe green or sunset brow.. just because

8: Play the stock market.... that’s all im saying on this one

9: Try pole dancing, I watch a lot of pole dancers and the artistry is beyond fascinating, I would like to learn how to walk on air, its so beautiful and graceful.

10 Get hypnotized, I would like to block some stuff in my memory like rehab..... hey im kidding but I feel the need to block out some loose screws

11: Ride an elephant, camel toe on an elephant...... get it?

12 : Fly a private jet, there is something special about having a plane in the air, being in control and navigating the air pockets is incredible.


Those may be my top bucket list choices, the list goes on and on...What is your bucket list. Oh! you wanted a little more explicit content? You just have to wait and read the coming blogs because i have tea........ lots of it.

Keeping it 100%

Miss Di

LIES OF A MITCH

I caught myself shaking my head at how ridiculous my cousin sounded as she tried to defend a new guy she was flirting with. "He is so thoughtful!but is so busy!", "he hangs out with the boys and when I'm with him all he does is sleep after sex because he is too tired.  

Those are warning signs of, girl-you-been-mitched, Mitch style and he tells LIES!

Listen naive chick, there somethings a man tells you, you should see a smoke signal rise up his lying head, screaming, you've been lied to.

Lies of a Mitch include:

I'm hanging out with the boys tonight but i can pass by your place after. Really! are you going to stay at home waiting for someone having a blast with his boys and you are at home marinating your ass for someone who will most likely come smelling of booze and sweat. Oh come on! why doesn't he invite you to hang out with the boys? is he too ashamed to show you off?

I'm not really ready to date but i m OK just chilling with you. Really! chilling with you as he waits for someone else to date, your not the dating type huh? you will chill like ice until you aren't cool enough to chill with, Oh come on! Break that ice chilling business and move on to someone who is ready to date you. Most likely, the guy is too scared to be hurt again so he would rather chill with you.

Speaking of heart ache, ohh i have heard this line before, she broke my heart and im not ready to move on. This is a classic phrase for someone who is still hung up on their ex or hoping their ex will come back. So if the Mitch is living in the past and you are living his past so both of you are idiots in your past present. You need to move from that ignorant state and let the fool hang on too the past. Wait! Oh come on! nearly forgot to say that.

I'm focusing on my career! Really! Mitch wants to build his career but what about you, when shall the focus ever shift? people are very capable of having a relationship and career. So tell the Mitch to go make love to that special career, EVERY BODY NEEDS SOMEONE!

I'm go so busy, i forgot to text, call or hit back on you! really! You are clearly not priority on his list, when a guy is into you, he will call, text, whats app, IG, DM, send smoke signals and jump out of a building just to know that you are OK. If he isn't doing that, you need to find someone who is worth your while otherwise you will be by your phone waiting for a beep, even switch it off and put it on just to make sure that there is nothing wrong with it. Silly girl, say it with me....Oh come on already! 

Ladies, if you have some Mitch lines, i would love to read some. Men also!

Keeping it 100%

Miss Di

MARKING YOUR TERRITORY

Its necessary to mark your territory if you love someone. Imagine some women or man flirting with the other part of your heart and you are right there! Do you have the guts to slap a Bitch or Mitch?

Some little annoying thing kept creeping back in my now exes life, calling him, texting him and even camping at his place all in the name of trying to be friends and yet i knew she wanted to be more than friends with my man.

Day one, i tolerated her because i didnt know what her game plan was and i was still new and heavy with the man. She literally slept on the sofa for nearly four days, i went, came back and i found the heifer still at his place.

I found something we both liked and we started doing stuff together, she got comfortable in my space, i let her think i was her best friend and one night i sat there sharing a ciggarette with her, drink in my hand and asked her when she intended to leave. Hadnt she noticed a new queen b in the house?
I moved close to her face and asked her to pack her things and when me and my man woke up the next morning, she would have been gone.

Morning came, heifer wasnt there! she had gone and left one piece of under wear in the bathroom, i took that nasty piece of rag and threw it in the bin, to be trashed out with the things that didnt belong in my space.

Ladies or Gentlemen, it is important to mark your territory, its your space so go on and take over.

Keeping it 100%

Miss Di  

DRUNKEN DIALING

You have done drunk dialing right.....Stop acting like you have never drunk dialed your ex in the wee hours with or without your caller ID on. I know i have, i kept calling and asking if he could over or crying about how i miss him and all that nonsense desperate single people do after drinking then it suddenly hits you that you will die alone and miserable before daylight.

 
Valentines day is around the corner and im very afraid for everyone who is single. I know most of us will be miserable and make that call or send that text when drunk
Text 1: Where are you? can you come over? 
Text 2: Im so sad we arent together
Text 3: Please come for a drink, i hate drinking without you
Text 4: I have something urgent to tell you, please call me
Text 5: Why are you not replying back
Text 6: ??????? why
*nude photo sent*
 

Women who drunk dial are the worst, one friend of mine would send mass texts to her ex, workmates, ex boss, cab driver and everyone else in her phone book until one day she sent her cousin a naked pic and she had to make that call of shame.

So to survive drunken dialing this valentines day , here are some of my rules that should help you go through the night.

Ask a girl friend or male friend to stay over
Delete all the numbers you dont need in your phone book
Make all the calls you need to make before you start drinking
Give your friend the phone and you take theirs
Do not use your friends phone to dial your ex number stuck in your head
Put off the phone or ask your friend to lock your phone for the evening with a different password
Collect all the bad memories around your house and burn them outside
Sing kumbaya till the morning in drunken bliss
Do not post anything in any social media until three days after valentines
Phew! you will survive another year.

Keep it 100%

Miss Di

WEAVE OR NOT TOO WEAVE

70% of men don't like weaves, 40% of men have no clue that a woman has a weave on and 15% of men will never see the real hair of a woman they are dating.

It was even more ridiculous when i sat with men on a long trip out of town and listened to them describe how dirty and smelly weaves and wigs were. One highly educated man went on about how he once had a female client meet him at his office and he could smell her hair the entire meeting. How in our weather a woman accumulates all the dust in the hair and does nt wash it for months, i even heard stories of women who kept tooth picks in the weave or wig.Or how women should be searched in the head and not on the body since they can hide a whole house in a pile of weave.These men had theories on the weave, wigs and natural hair,another gentleman stated that when women should state whether her hair is real or fake because he had a horrific experience when he once dated a lady who wore wigs. One night, the woman of his dreams finally agrees to sleep at the gentleman's place, he woke up next to a stranger the next day, the wig was placed on the table as the lady lay on his bed with her natural kinky hair, making purring sounds  as the gentleman held in the muffled scream. What happened to the lady with beautiful long hair?

 I blame the men for women getting into the weave craze, if men didn't lust over women with long locks and flawless skin, drooling over black women entertainers with tonnes of fake hair, fake lashes, fake asses and boobs! women would be very happy rocking natural kinky hair. I'm writing from personal experience.One night i went to a restaurant without any wigs or extensions and got very little attention. The next night, i put on shoulder length extensions and kept flipping then, i got all the attention right from the door.  

Who cares what is on woman's head!. Do you know how long a woman takes in the saloon to look fabulous in a weave,braids or whatever is on her head.Life would be boring without all those interesting looks. Hair business is one of the best businesses to get into, so instead of dissing a sista, uplift her with some business and embrace her crowning of glory.

Keeping it 100%

Miss Di.

UNCOMFORTABLY IN LOVE

Getting comfortable around a new person you are dating can be difficult.
The first Kiss is awkward, the first sleepover is weird.

Do you have a ritual you do every night before you go to bed, I wash my face, cleanse, massage my shoulders and neck. I finish it off with wiping my legs.

So when you sleep over a guys/ girls unexpectedly, you have all these uncomfortable thoughts before you finally get to sleep.

When it comes to the bathroom and you want to drop a bomb, its normally nice and breezy at your place and all over sudden you are dropping nuclear war fare in the bowl and when you are done, there isn't tissues or water in the loo.

You walk back to bed after managing your loo saga then you find your new love awake, grinning sheepishly, occupying the entire bed, you are so tempted to pick up your clothes from wherever they are and duck but your love pats on the bed and you walk reluctantly towards the bed.

Arrrg, morning breath! You lock your lips and manage to kiss the lips but your lover insists on sticking tongue into your mouth, you can nearly taste the beer and smell the armpits, last night you couldn't resist the smell of your lover and now you wish you had a peg on your nose.

The walk from your lovers door to your car or taxi can be very embarrassing, suddenly all neighbours have their heads pooping all over watching you make the walk of shame. You uncomfortably seat in the car and try to shake your new friends hands instead of a goodbye kiss.

You are a few miles away and you breath in a deep long breathe, Phew!!!!! at last im on my own, you roll down the window, your knees weak, You straighten your pants, check the sides in utter shock. You wore them inside out! No wonder the stares!

Keeping it 100%

Miss Di

SIDE CHICKS NOTES

Cobwebs surrounding the core of the pain, the scars, the tears. I missed the way my eyes used to light up when you saw me, how I was desperate for love , to be held by someone who whispered those words .I lay on my bed, grinning, felling accomplished! I feel no guilt because I got what I wanted, I roll over to my belly, count the rolls of money that lay besides me, ahhhh I can finally buy whatever I want, the money come right on time, I was so broke and I wasn't sure where I was going to get the money. Hmmmm, I remember making him guilty after he put the money on the bed. he never gave me the money in my hand as if he was afraid I would reject it. well I have rejected it once and felt so stupid when he threw it on the sofa the first time he tried to give me money.

I felt cheap, I felt lonely once again, I felt used,I deserve a ring, I deserve to call you anytime I want, I deserve to be with you any moment I please but all I get is promises and words. Im tired of those words that mean nothing, the times I waited for you and you didn't show up because you had an emergency called 'your family' or 'your wife'. im not that important huh?

What about the holidays you promised, just me and you. Each time you left, my heart would sink because for 3 years, I loved you, despite being with you for less than 30 mins all I feel is tragedy, I have at times watched you knock at my door and I would ignore you, knowing how upset you would be, I would cleanse myself off you and promise to stop being the side chick but all in vain when you would come back and I would forget every little lie you told me and I would die in the moment.

My name is the side chick, together is never promised but as long as we have a moment, I will die in the moment, that moment that I have captured with you besides me I will forever cherish, they don't understand our bond, you and I don't understand it . Im a foolish girl but im a brave girl to swallow the emptiness, no one to talk to, no one to confide in, no one to wake up too, no one to kiss goodnight as the darkness closes in.

I get up from my bed and pick up my bundle of money from my soiled white sheets, I put on my robe, put on a fresh coat of make up, look at myself in the mirror, I look good, im ready to conquer the world. I have the paper and im ready to die in the moment.

Keeping it 100%

Dedicated to Kabeka, I will always regret that I didn't do anything.

Miss Di

        

NAIROBIAN MODERN DATING FUSION

Before you go throwing Shade on me,trade carefully because im not generalizing all Kenyan men and placing them in one basket. I have done my extensive soul searching research and with that I can write objectively about how it is to date a modern African man and specifically the 'Nairobian or Kenyan.

Going on a date with a Nairobian man can sometimes be depressing. The ideal date especially for Kenyan men is taking a lady for Nyama choma at a local pub. How boring! and worse still is when the music is so loud and there is a football match going on. Thank God for apps on our phones that entertain us through the entire carnivorous, chest thumping, beer (soda) sipping(sipping) men squealing like women when a team scores.

I mentioned to a guy that I would like to go to our local park for a picnic, discover the sites in Nairobi, we didn't even have to go out of town, there are so many sites that would amaze him if he was willing to just go out and explore the town. He was shocked that I wanted to do things out of the norm. I even proposed that he could make a meal at home and we could have a decent conversation but it was as if I had suggested or mentioned something so taboo. Me! go to the kitchen! was the response I got.

Sweetie, are you waiting by the car door for him to open it for you, You are hilarious girl, (open your own damn door! that's for the movies) When you expect the door to be opened for a you or letting a lady enter a lift first, that is just not something we are cultured to do. I don't even have to tell you about my experience, just go to a busy mall and see how many 'gentlemen' will stand and let a lady go through first. I was giggling with a girl friend about this..... ladies are now picking the men up for dates in our cars and dropping them home after dates....... but lets leave that to rest for now and move on.

Our men never give promises of the moon and the stars because making a commitment is something of the past. They are just afraid of being responsible, the number of women complaining about men who don't take up responsibilities is very worrying. You don't expect to lay with women and not have baby issues? check out dead beat Kenyans. Moving along.

Don't get me started with the dress code, you expect an all natural woman, no weave, Vaseline for makeup and long sunny dresses and yet when Anaconda or Booty comes out, who is the first person to forward it to the boys or groups. I'm confused whether to get an ass job or boob implants, hmm perhaps Vera had some insight on it, nahhh im kidding, [poor thing]. Let me not even begin with bedroom affairs, some men have perfected the art of written and spoken fantasies of what they can do, when it comes to do, you are left wandering in the dark, what the hell happened or was that it?

Flowers and chocolates are a thing of the past, with apps that can send you virtual flowers and sweet messages, darling don't hold your breathe for those. Maybe a bunch of spinach/sukumawiki or traditional veggies is what you might get when you are making a meal at least its a plant.

I have to appreciate the Nairobian men when it comes to dressing, their rides and homes. I haven't met an untidy man. They are on their A game when it comes to grooming and they smell delicious. Infact, I was once embarrassed by a man who had a better pedicure than I did,i noticed that men go to the palour more than us ladies for facials, waxing, Pedi's and mani's  but that stops there for now.

Finally, return the key holder ladies. Some of our guys will propose, you get the ring and three babies down your still dating or in a relationship? Hmmmm, that is an open relationship and you are the convince, wake up and smell the coffee.

Worst thing is that we cant live without them! Gotta love the Nairobian Alpha man.

Keeping it 100%

Miss Di

MENDING A HEART BROKEN MAN

He slowly sat opposite me in the restaurant and I continued reading my magazine. I tried not to notice him but I knew he was watching me. After twenty minutes I decided to pay my bill, he stretched out and took the bill and asked if he could pay. I looked at him for the first time and noticed how handsome he was but his eyes had pain written in all over.

 

He told me that he didn't believe in love, love is meant to make man suffer. He told me a heart-breaking story of how the previous relations made him a stronger man and no matter what route your heart takes you, expect to find disappointment. Don't go looking for the truth if you don't want to get hurt. Stay still and trust the person you love and you don't ever get hurt.

 

I wanted to hold him, hug him and tell him that everything would be fine and some day he would find someone who loved him and his heart  would be safe in their hands but that would be lying to him because as human beings we have curious minds. When we are in relationships, we tend to always investigate the other person. Considering that he has been hurt so many times, I don't think he is capable of mending because he has been broken too many times.

 

I wander whether the women reading this would accept to be in a relationship with a man who has been broken so many times?. I have a feeling that if you would pursue a relationship with a broken man, you would have to deal with a lot of insecurities and constantly explaining yourself.

 

I wish I had a clamp that would fix broken hearts because that man could use some mending.



Keeping it 100%

 

Miss Di

 

YOUR SCENT IS DRVING ME INSANE

Have you ever had this persons scent that drives you insane? when you are walking in the street and that scent just hits you and you start searching around to see if that person was there?

We all have that one scent that brings a tingly feeling inside especially when we associate it to someone dear to us. Mine would be the scent of my ex on the pillows or a t-shirt he borrowed for the night but my ultimate favourite, the smell of a man straight from the shower.

On a serious note, you should do a test and ask your special someone whether they remember what you smelt like and only after you have asked him or her what scents they absolutely love and if you aren't on the list of favourite scents, darling you better figure out what scent will linger on their minds.

Women, our natural scent is our special DNA but you can enhance it with some vanilla, lavender, cinnamon. Now Pheromone perfume is something im testing, it is a crazy one, collect your own sweat, (not from your armpits, the beads of sweat on your face) just a few ounces and mix with your favourite perfume,  Pheromone Perfume!!! It is basically a chemical that secretes in sweat and releases neurotransmitters. These neurotransmitters directly affect the behaviour of a person i.e. opposite sex. The pheromone perfume leaves subtle impact on human beings and is truly a powerful scent men love.

I tried it today and went to a restaurant, sat by myself in the middle of the restaurant  and ordered a meal, three male waiters came to attend to me, including the restaurant manager, I got a drink on the house and when I paid for my meal, I got a complimentary voucher for another meal. im not sure whether it was the perfume but I confirmed it when one of my colleagues stopped the lift and kept asking me silly questions about what I was doing in the evening and whether I needed any help with anything. HOWEVER, whether it was my perfume or my lovely lady charms, my scent didn't work on all men.

Try it and tell me what happens! I would like a man to try it and send me back feedback.

Keeping it 100%

Miss Di

LUNCH ON MY MIND, SEX ON HIS?

I bumped into an acquaintance in the supermarket one late night, he invited me over for lunch at his place, I was pleasantly surprised that a fine man wanted to cook a meal for me? he even asked what I wanted for lunch and I chose my lunch right there at the supermarket.

You can imagine the excitement, I got to his place and found the a lovely 3 course meal prepared, he plated each course and the presentation was beyond description. I was really blown away by the light witty conversation, we finished off with a delicious bottle of dessert wine. I was absolutely impressed.

Seated at the living room, we started watching stand up comedy and he moved in closer and I enjoyed the warmth of his arms around me. It started getting uncomfortable when kisses were being planted on my cheeks, I knew that it was my cue to exit. When I asked to leave he started acting childish and I don't really have to get into it.

My question is, just because a man has made you lunch, bought you a drink or taken you out, does that translate into sex as pay back? No matter what race you come from, I find that many women complain about this, do we have to return the favour?

Men, cant we spend a little time with you and not expect to be your icing on the cake or trophy after?

Keeping it 100%

Miss Di

THAT WHITE AND CHOCOLATE COMBINATION

At a young age love does not know race, you fall in love with anyone without asking about their religion or race but when you get older, society makes you differentiate what is accepted and what is not. I could help when a friend of mine came with a dilemma where her Hindu sister was dating a Christian boy, Black and white just don't mix in her world, her mother was in tears and her dad didn't want to see her face. How silly I thought and so I decided to experiment myself and see how society would judge me and my white chocolate mix.

I meet someone on line. Lets call him George, He has lived in Nairobi all his life and he actually speaks abit of the native language. On our first date we decided to go to a high end restaurant, we had a table for two with candle lit dinner, soft music in the background and we had a good time laughing and getting to know each other. The waiters were wonderful, extra attention was given to us and everybody around us minded their own business.

The second date we went to an equally high end restaurant in another area on a Sunday. The services was equally good but the people around us kept staring at us, the women especially with kids. I went to the washroom to freshen up my make up and I was in shock when a younger lady asked where I met the nice gentleman I was with because he must have been a good client. I laughed and lied that he was my boyfriend, you should have seen how her eyes pooped. She told me to marry the man asap because I would be financially free. I went back to my date and held his hands, thanked him for a wonderful date and as the bill came, the waiter put it where my gentleman friend fore side. I grabbed the bill and gave the waiter my card, he looked at me weirdly and walked away too run my card.

Our third date was at a local movie theatre, we went early and got front middle seats, went to a nearby bar which was fully packed, I got a tool at the counter and he stood, for some reason, I got some attention for being with him but men kept bumping into him despite the little space. I decided to pull him really close and held onto him, I could see the looks we got, I was relieved when we had to leave for the movie. One large popcorn bucket, slosh in one hand we walked in just as the movie began, a romantic movie. He put his arm around me and we enjoyed the movie for the next 20 mins in peace. The person behind me kept bumping his shoe into my seat, three times and I slowly turned to see what was going on, in the darkness our eyes met and I gave him a nasty look, I turned back to my movie, snuggled back under his arm and he kissed my forehead loudly, oh the mouth smacks I heard around us was very irritating, we managed to go through the entire movie, with the constant bumps from the guy behind me. We walked into the streets, hand in hand, I hear a few insults here and there which really offended me.

My question is, cant we live in a world that is tribe less, colourless, religion less a world where all humans beings are all the same.

Besides, if you turned off the lights in a room, we are all the same colour!

Keeping it 100%

Miss Di

 

EX FACTOR RELATIONSHIPS

Its a dilemma when your ex asks you back. Most people tend to keep going back to their exes for some crazy reason, I would definitely give myself some time back with my ex because I need to know that my emotions have long moved on and I wasn't the person I was when we were dating.

I learnt that some relationships cant go back to the magic when it goes away. It may be the absolute bad reason to try getting back because most of the time we miss the familiarity. You may find yourself in need of a temporary fix for your mutual loneliness but believe me, the trust, loyalty and love you once had left an empty hole too deafening to fill in.

When you take someone back, the person is most likely to take advantage of you since you are more venerable emotional and sometimes financially. Forgiveness is a wonderful virtue but if you expect the other person to behave when you get back, you will be disappointed gravely.  

When you break up with someone, its the best time to do some soul searching, sometimes its worth it to take risks on someone new rather than going back to the same drama over and over again

Im writing this as am looking at an ex and its really ridiculous because I am im reflecting on all the reasons why we broke up and I have only one memory of happy moments..... when I used to wake up and watch him sleep. I knew where he was, he was angelic with eyes closed and mouth shut but the only bummer was that I didn't know what he was dreaming about.

Story is, don't bother going back, unless you want to see what progress you've made otherwise its not worth your time.

Keeping it 100%

Miss Di

IF ONLY MEN KNEW

I have a special guy in my life now and im wondering if he is a keeper, I have been reading a lot on relationships and I hope this one works and I wish he knew some things.
Some ladies asked what they would wish their men knew responded in the following ways. Im hoping men will get a few pointers from here

• There's nothing like being in the presence of the man you love and feeling like there isn't another woman on the planet who's sexier than you are.

While sleeping, he rolls over and reaches for me as if knowing, even in his sleep, something is missing...his other half


When he smiles like a little boy on Christmas morning when he sees me.

When he just looks at me and smiles for no reason

When he whispers in my ear, ‘You are so beautiful


When he attends a work event with me and watches with intrigue as I work in a leadership capacity. The icing on the cake is when he applauds my work on the ride home, and when we ‘settle in’ in for the night!


When he gently takes my chin and brings me in closer to kiss him
When he places his hand on the small of my back

When he stares at me like he knows what he has


When we are together in a crowed room and I'm his main focus

When I look at him and he is already looking at me, and smiling


He can't stop kissing and touching me

When I'm just laying in his arms having small talk, feeling the movement of his body and silently listening to his heartbeat as he speaks


When he respects my celibacy


When I can completely be my quirky, cerebral and expressive self!


I have all of his attention and we are looking into each other eyes with no words

When he tells me he intends to spend the rest of his life with me



When he in encourages me to go for my goals in life

Keeping it 100%

Miss Di

BLOW HIS MIND

We get so caught up with our lives that sometimes we forget our partners and the need to feel loved. I have been experimenting with these pointers I read from a magazine and I think they are ready to be put to the test.

Spend the Entire Day In Bed

Spend one Sunday in bed. Turn off your cell phone and unplug the clock, it’s time to hunker down with your dream guy. Skip your to-do list for the day and make a new one where everything on it can be done in bed. It’s fun, it’s free and sure beats working all day, doesn’t it?

Take a Bubble Bath Together

A little fizz, steam and a hot bath can go a long way for your sex drive. Skip the showers in favour of a romantic evening in the tub together for some sensual foreplay before bed.

Assign Him Love Homework

Ready to instantly spice things up? Call or text him and give him a little “love homework” to bring home. Ask him to make a list of the 10 places on your body he’d like to kiss you, or his five favorite spots to have sex. The anticipation will build as he completes his assignment and he will be eager to turn it in and practice what he’s learned.

Put Your Pleasure In His Hands

These days there is no shortage of pleasure products on the shelves at your local store. Although the selection can be vast, most of them look like more fun for you than him—until now. Introducing the Bullet . The sleek, waterproof, wireless bullet has ten powerful speeds and slips discretely into your panties. On the way out, give him the wireless remote control, which works up to 25 feet away, and let the games begin.


Be His Secret Admirer

You can still remember the smell of those beautiful roses he sent you on your birthday, but when was the last time you showered him with public displays of affection? Surprise him for lunch looking unbelievably hot in that dress he loves, or have a note telling him to “Come home, now!” delivered to his office by a messenger.

Serve Yourself For Dessert

After you’ve both enjoyed a delicious meal, it’s time for a one-of-a-kind dessert in bed. Hand him a jar of edible chocolate body paint and a brush, and light a candle—it’s on!

Lets keep it real,

Miss Di

 

BAGGING THAT GUY

Hold the press, I don't mean tea bagging a guy! gross!

Oh wait you have no idea what im talking about? Phew! good, that is a whole new conversation for some other day.

So, during the long holidays I have been observing some of the people around me date. Since im still single(Crossing my fingers blue) I have decided to go on a hunt and Bag that guy. After watching Baggage claim and identifying with it I decided to put some things to the test. I will try the following in my next bag a guy search.

1: OPEN MY MIND TO NEW ADVENTURES

 

Each date I will go too, I will have an open mind, I realised that my ideal partner is based on my personal checklist. We are all looking for the perfect partner but honey! he don't exist!

 

2: NO RESEARCH BEFORE THE FIRST DATE

 

No goggling or face booking my date to be, those are just false impressions of the person, im doing it the old fashion way, I will make my judgement when i meet the person.

3: NO BAGGAGE
The past will be left there, I will not speak of old relationships, negative experiences or my insane encounters. I am a saint and expect a saint. There is so little to get out of dwelling on the past.

4: HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY
  Starting a relationship based on lies is never a grand idea, if he doesn't live up to your expectations just tell the guy instead of wasting time.

5: LEAVE ON A HIGH NOTE
Dates will be short and sweet, coffee or lunch! No dinners or alcohol, im tired of looking for my undies after a couple of drinks, not cool for a classy woman, did I stammer.

Just keeping it real and being real

Miss Di

NEW BEGININGS, GOOD BYE F****G 2013

I have been hiding in 2013, trying to figure out what the coyotes I want to do in 2014. Its been nearly one month and I have been dancing with the devils of 2013, that was one jinxed and f***ed up year.

Finally I have what I want to do, figured out in 2014, im sure you are dying to know what my personal agreements are with my demons this year because you haven't written yours, Its alright! I know you haven't put it on paper, lazy ass!

Alright, Thunderbolt, I mean.... Drum roll!!!!!!!


1: STOP FANTASIZING
I shall not look at things I want and not get them, I love cars, sports cars especially and I intend to get one sweet ride, im kinda tired of my old junk, its time I let her go.

I shall not stare at ridiculously handsome guys and do nothing about it..... Nooo this girl has grown balls and horns, I see something looking hot, im charging like bull on Viagra and coke!

No broke ass guys, im too grown for that, I had hustled too long to settle for less. Im positioning myself for the grand fabulous life and grand don't come cheap!


2: PROPER DATING

No freaking casual sex, that's so 2013, who does that? when I feel I’ve connected with someone that gets my nether regions all juicy my bullshit tolerance level goes through the roof! This year, I want to be better at putting my foot down and not accepting half ass texts and dick pics as proper dating courtship. Proper dinners, dating activities that don't entail house activities, movies in the house is history, dinner in the house all dead and buried, that is a very cheap date which only qualifies on the 25th date, clubbing isn't a date, the only clubbing im doing is between myself and a golf ball after a trip down to exclusive golf courses in a jet!

 3: WORK ON MY TEMPER

I always lose out on a lot of fun stuff because of my temper, when you are working with a perfectionist, our temper is like a delicate little thread waiting to snap. I will keep my temper under wraps but don't just tempt me..... I will get into a fight.

4: LEARN THE KAMASUTRA

Yes, I want to learn from the holy grail of sex, im getting into a meaningful relationship and normal sex has become boring, imagine 100 positions to experiment with, ahh the magic mountain, Glowing Juniper, crouching tiger and the peg. Hmmmmh, you wanna goggle, I dare you, infact lets learn together and exchange notes

5: GYM TIME

Nope, im not going to do crazy diets or starve, im going to eat healthy and hit the gym. Not to lose weight! to get my tummy flat and tighten my arms. Not putting high expectations since I have learnt to accept my curves.

6: CONCENTRATE ON THE ARTISTIC ME

I spent to much time on irrelevant stuff last year, im choosing the artist in me this year, Record my music, talent management and events is all im doing. I need to start making that money and mad money.

7: CHILDREN

Shhh i hear tiny feet.......................................... that's all im saying!

8: GET A LIFE...... I MEAN YOU......

I need to stop being so personal and gross on this blog.Yeah right! then where shall you get all the nasty juicy details of stuff folks don't wanna talk about! lets be real! keep it real..... hmm I like that, maybe I should always sign out like that.



Miss Di, lets be real, keep it real.

SIGNS A MAN IS GREAT IN BED

Dedicated to Michael for the weekend and teaching me a few things along the way and so im sharing this with Michael on mind, Had to share this.


HE CAN DANCE
 By dancing, I don’t mean country, salsa, ballroom, or even the tango; I mean he can hold you close to him and sway his hips just enough so that you feel like you’re having sex on the dance floor.
If a man can hold you close to him and maintain rhythm with his hips, he will know how to twirl them when you’re lying under him as well. And if that weren’t great enough, he understands the importance of tempo when it matters most.

HIS KISSES ARE SLOW
When he opens his mouth to kiss you, his kiss is almost lazy.  He sucks one lip at a time and he even smiles slightly when your tongues meet. This is a man who never rushes through an orgasm but enhances it by delaying it and awaiting a profound explosion.

  HE DEVOURS HIS FOOD
When he eats his dinner, every morsel he cuts and place in his mouth is appreciated and devoured as though it may be his last.
If that weren’t enough of a turn on, if you’re out and he enjoys the taste of something immensely, he will insist on feeding you some so that you can share in his dining pleasure.

HE MAKES YOU FEEL SEXY
He doesn’t need to tell you that he thinks you’re hot, nor does he even have to touch you, the way he treats you makes you feel like you’re the sexiest woman on Earth.
The way he looks at you makes you feel like a sex kitten, the way he talks to you makes you feel like a princess and the way he lets you know what he’s thinking makes you want to rip off his clothes and ravage him.

 HE PUTS HIS HANDS IN UNIQUE PLACES
The breast and the butt are the obvious places most guys want to touch you, but this guy… this guy massages the back of your neck for no reason. He wraps his hands around your ribs and pulls you closer.
When you kiss, he puts his hands behind your head and lightly pulls your hair back by the roots. This is a man who knows that there are many ways to bring a woman to orgasm and is prepared to explore them all.

HE DOESN’T TALK ABOUT SEX
As most of us know by now, men who boast about their sexual trysts are usually the ones who think that sex that lasts as long as a commercial break is incredibly satisfying. This man never makes mention of sex; he lets his body language, his touch and his actions reveal that he is the stuff dreams are made of.

 HE KNOWS HOW TO SEDUCE YOUR BRAIN
Many women feel that if a man does not know how to have sex with her brain, there is no way he’s going to have sex with her body. This guy knows how to seduce your imagination and leave you with his lingering presence well after he’s left you for the evening.
He speaks like a gentleman and makes you want to do things in bed that you’ve never imagined yourself doing. He brings out a different side of you; an animalistic side.






MISS DI

LES SEXE FAUX PAUS

Every second Wednesday of the month I meet with my gentlemen friends for a special lady treat. Most of my gentleman friends, I grew up with, have been in my life in various seasons and for various reasons. So whether single or married I schedule them across the months for that special Wednesday day out. One of them is incredibly disgusting but intriguing, I  like the way he is very open about he's experiences, oh and the faux paus made me laugh but they made some sense.
So according to Bruce (not real name) the following are the sex faux paus.
 
1: If its a hook up, don't say 'make love to me' they guy will go limp if its just about sex,.......... a nice way for us girls to get away with not having sex especially when its been bad sex
2: Ask him, 'is it in yet?'
3:Being insecure about your body, the brain is dead.... so for him to notice stretch marks, cellulite etc. is all in your mind, get your freak on and imagine that Beyoncé has nothing on you.
4:You smell like a wet nasty rug, I once read somewhere that men love the natural body odour, well my dear, if you cant stand the smell of your own body odour how would expect a man to like it.
5: This one shocked me, most guys like the vajayjay baby smooth, no hair,yeah just that veet and chuck those weeds
6: Lots of guys are very insecure in bed and are threatened by a woman who is adventurous. They want to be the ones who suggest the new adventures. Another laugh for me!
7:Call him someone else's name, I suggest that you do this to a guy who has hurt you incase you ever roll in the sack with him again...... I know, I know im evvviil
8:Dont talk, just moan and not like a demented cat!
9: Compare them to an ex
10:Dont just lay there, do something, move wriggle, twerk etc.
11: Laugh at the weenie, not cool at all
12:Bite the weenie
13: Say you hope to get pregnant right in the middle of the moment
14: Make him feel like he is doing the right thing and if he aint, tell him
15: Stop reading this now because the list is endless and Bruce isn't always right, so go get your man and give him one hell of a night.

ITS BEEN REAL

Miss DI